Friends of Village Life

Family Therapy -

2007-06-06T10:32:00.000+01:00

Well, it looks like we have found someone to help us work through the difficulties and dilemmas that our adventure in Cambodia threw up. We are going to give joint (family) counselling a go, with a trained counsellor who works with people coming and going from overseas all the time. Catherine is going to meet her a couple of times one to one and then we are going to both meet with her on a weekly basis and see how it goes. If it goes well she thinks it will take a few months rather than weeks. Having never done this sort of thing before we are a bit nervous but the counsellor lent us a book by John Cleese and his Family Therapist, so that should help us to "always look at the bright side of life!"

Up and coming trips

2007-06-06T10:24:00.000+01:00

After spending a few weeks settling into Yate and focusing on immediate family we have a few trips coming in the next couple of weeks.

On tuesday we are off to stay with a friend of Tim's from Uni days and her family. They live on a co-operative/communal orgainc farm in Herefordshire. We are very excited about spending time with them on the farm.

From there we go straight on to the Annual Gathering of the Community of Aidan and Hilda near Stratford upon Avon. They are the Celtic-inspired scattered christian community that we are part of.

After a few days back in Yate we are then off to Brighton for the birthday weekend of our dear friend Hannah which includes camping, cream teas, pub lunches, walks and sitting round the campfire with some of our favourite Brighton lovies. We hope to catch up with as many friends as possible but Brighton will need a few more visits this summer we think!

hardcore help and giving triathalon a try

2007-06-06T10:11:00.000+01:00

Until the end of July we are staying with friends in Yate, near Bristol. Catherine looks after the boys in the morning and I take them out in the afternoon, giving us time to pray, reflect, communicate, do chores etc., Liking a bit of manual labour I have been doing a few days of volunteering renovating a community centre, ripping out ceilings and lugging hardcore about, that sort of thing - very therapeutic.

I have also been doing a bit of swim - bike - run to get fit for doing a triathalon with my brother in september. The swimming has felt more like drowning with style but I am slowly remembering how to breath. Running has been a non-starter so far as I haven't had any running shoes and the shoes I do have really hurt my achilles heel to run in. But I just found a good pair of trail shoes in a sale. Cycling has been the most fun, painful and eventful. A friend in Yate lets me borrow his racer when he is at work. I love getting out in the fresh air and the sense of freedom (although the clip in shoes took a bit of getting used too!). My brother also took me on a weekends mountain biking trip in the welsh valleys, which was fantastic and lung busting (and very wet...).

Phone Numbers

2007-05-14T14:15:00.000+01:00

Tim 07721 015792

Catherine 07876 020175

Landline 01454 315364

The landline is incoming only, so we have to keep our telephone calls out (by our pay-as-you-go mobiles) to a minimum, sorry.

Transition - 4x6

2007-05-14T13:48:00.000+01:00

In our transition from Battambang to Blighty we had four six day stays on the way.

We had six days in Phnom Penh to recover from packing and saying goodbye to our friends and house in Battambang. It was also a chance to see some of our friends in Phnom Penh and say goodbyes there too.

Next was six days in Thailand at the Servants to Asias Urban Poor Forum. It was set at a hotel air-conditioned rooms with a pool by the beach in Pattaya. It was agreat chance to flop and we had some very helpful conversations with some old hands about our year.

We were met at Heathrow by Tim's parents who delivered a borrowed car to us. It was lovely to met by them and to have a car for the next few months. We then drove straight to stay with Catherine's parents in Yate, near Bristol. It was an important few days connecting with the Burfoot clan. We were also able to meet up with George and Hazel Baxter (George married us) who offered for us to stay at their house for may and june. With this arranged we headed north north east to visit Tim's parents in their rented house in Lincolnshire.

We got a chance to see the house they are buidling in Horncastle and to day trips exploring the surrounding area - lovely part of the world. On route we stayed for a couple of days with Tim's brother and family and visit some other friends in Peterborough (Tim's old boss). It was lovely to be able to connect with all our immediate family so quickly and still being in transition-holiday mode helped re-entry from being too overwhelming.

We have settled into our host family's home. We all really like it, including Forrest which was our main concern. It is a deceptively large house with many communal spaces, so it doesn't feel like we are living on top of each other. We have a double room for sleeping and storage and the boys share the conservatory with the cats for a play room and place to store their toys. they have shelves very much like in Cambodia and the proximity to garden and kitchen make it very easy for us all. It has worked out so well so far. We have all warmed to the Baxters, especially their youngest son Joshua. He is the only one still at home, studying at six form college.

We take turns looking after the boys, Catherine in the morning and Tim in the afternoon. This gives us time to get on with chores, communications, praying and reflecting. Tim has also just started helping out with renovating a community shop that George is involved with.

The calendar is filling up with long weekend visits to see various people and places but we don't want to travel too much and over stretch the boys, so we won't get to see people as fasted as we might like to.

Re-entry

2007-04-16T14:26:00.000+01:00

Well, we are back in blighty after a little sojourn in Thailand at the Servants to Asia's Urban Poor Forum.

We are staying with Catherine's family in Yate, near Bristol, this week and Tim's next, and hoping to sort out something temporary in Yate for after that.

Leaving our neighbours in friends in Battambang was tearful but good, and all the packing and leaving went smoothly. The time with Servants was very good for us all, although Forrest had another bout of tonsilitis. It was great to talk to some old hands who have and done and seen it all before. We were much encouraged by our conversations there.

The journey back was fine, the boys were fantastic and there have been no problems with jetlag or time adjustments.

Re-entry to english culture has been odd but seeing friends and family in Yate has been great, as was seeing Tim's folks at the airport, and the sunshine and spring blossom have been a joy.

We have some wheels which is good too, so we can get about, and we are looking into buying a tent for our road trips around the country.

So all is well.

Tim's new mobile number is: 07721 015792

We are yet to sort Catherine's out, one dud SIM so far!

Return to Ratanakiri

2007-03-09T03:27:00.000Z

On seeing Becky off at the airport we hoped on an old aeroflot plane to Ratanakiri in the Northeast again (we were there last June for Catherine's birthday and a holiday).

Our mission to Ratanakiri this time was to spend timne with the young homeschooling families there; to enjoy being with other english speaking Mums, Dads and children. We have found it hard in Battambang where we have only really got to know one filippino family. Ratanakiri has three or four families living there at any one time what with home leave and other coming and goings etc.,

We also took Torika, our home-help, with us as a treat and working holiday, as a way to say thank you for all her hard work and patience.

We all really enjoyed alternating between: hanging out with the other families (playing and sharing our experiences); getting into nature (forest walks, swimming at the lake or waterfalls); visiting friends in Tampuen villages (one of the local tribes); and staying with Tim's hero Gordon (Eden has become a devotee too!).

Ratanakiri is a possible place to live and homeschool and work in the future, yet, we focused on enjoying each day just for itself, and, boy, was it enjoyable and well needed. We are all both refreshed and tired out by all the socialising and natural beauty.

Now we have a few days in Phnom Penh bfore heading back to Battambang to pack and say our goodbyes. We will store our belongings and furniture there pending a decision about what we are going to do next but we feel it is unlikely that we will return to live in Battamabang. Where ever we go next we need a few more english speaking homeschooling families around, that much is clear.

Becky Boo from Brighty, Blighty

2007-03-09T03:04:00.000Z

What a delight and pleasure to have our dear friend Becky come to visit us for a couple of weeks. What a gift good friends are, especially when they turn up for your birthday!

Becky was there for Eden's birth, and sang Taize and ate breakfast with us so often in Brighton, how good to have her here to share in this adventure story too. How good to have someone who knows so much about you, including the dark and difficult and dubious, and yet still loves unconditionally. How good to have a friend who is so good with kids, we have missed her a lot this year and others like her.

It was precious to catch up with each other and find out about friends back in Brighton, and stay up too late telling stories about this and that. It is so helpful to have someone who connects our two lives, especially as we start to think and focus on our retun in mid-April.

None of us wanted her to leave, it was good to have Ratanakiri to look forward. Indeed, we all went to the airport together, Becky to go back to India and us to fly to Ratanakiri, it cushioned the blow.

Living in the riel world

2007-02-14T09:24:00.000Z

Our friend Becky's parents, who live and work with the poor in Calcutta, describe it as learning to live in parallel universes when they talk about the two worlds they slide in and out of.One minute in a slum, next minute in Pizza Hut.

We talk about living in the riel world and the dollar world. The riel being Cambodia's official currency and the working currency for the majority of Cambodians, the dollar being the working currency of tourists and the rich.

To us, increasingly the riel world helps us to understand how the real world works - that it is what is normal for the vast majority of people worldwide and throughout history. Yet it is a world we only partially enter. The dollar world is what we know yet it seems ever more sur-real and something we will never leave.

It seems that finding peace in living where worlds collide is to accept that both worlds are sur-real or sub-real, that indeed reality is where there contradictions and tensions meet.

We don't all live in a global economy or a global village that is ridiculous from where we are renting and unimaginable to someone immersed in the riel world. The dollar world (which is what the global economy refers to) is another world. People immersed in one world or another rarely meet and even less like to be know each other at a personal level and there are only a few people who live the ghostly realm imbetween the two worlds.

We are deeply grateful for the opportunity we have to slide between worlds and get a different perspective on reality courtesy of the friendliness of our neighbours in the riel world and the generosity of our supporters in the dollar world.

We can say is that it is a wonderful thing when the two worlds can meet, get to know each other and kiss in familia love. We can also see that this is not the norm and that both worlds are impoverished when the interaction is expolitative or without insight into how the Others really live. Neither option is without cost, yet the price to paid is very different.

I am reminded as I write this of Gandhi's quote that it costs a lot of people a lot of money to keep him in poverty. I am no longer sure what he meant by this......

Modern Buddhist Cathedrals

2007-02-14T08:57:00.000Z

There is a proliferation of Wats (Buddhist pagodas cum monasteries) in Cambodia. Many were destroyed during the reign of the Khmer Rouge. The Khmer Rouge tried to eradicate Buddhism, all it achieved in doing is changing it.

Many of the Wats have been rebuild and new ones added by and large with money from exiled Khmers in America, France and Australia, mostly from America, from California. Indeed, the Wats along with their pictures of Buddhas life, praying figures and Garudas and other myhtic beasts are covered in credits to so and so from USA giving $xx. Monks are no longer so depend on their alms rounds in the local community as money pours in from overseas.

Why all this money? We are not exactly sure but part of it seems to be secure the exiles return to the land of their ancestors when they die, part of it seems a way to put money back into the country without getting embroiled in family squabbles and jealousies, and there are probably a host of other reasons.

Unfortunately, it seems that the local Wats and monks are becoming less connected to their local community as a result of their new found wealth and patrons. A path that the church in the west went down some time ago. What is it about stones, bricks and mortar, intricate designs and gargoylesque figures that so appeal to the religious?

Often these graphic displays of merit-making sit alongside people on the edge of existence.One wonders what could be done if the money was channelled into health or education or community infrastructure or debt cancellation. But, of course, that would be a lot more difficult with no guarantee of credit or success.....

N.B. Whilst the context is somewhat different in the west I am of much the same opinion about the majority of church buildings - old or new, so, please, understand this is not a cheap pop at Buddhism. Just articulating grief at the way many of us religious haves tend to spend our money.

Back to Blighty

2007-02-06T04:14:00.000Z

We are all booked to fly to Bangkok on April 5th to attend the Servants to Asias Urban Poor's Forum at Pattaya before flying back to England, arriving at Heathrow at 06.25 on the 12th of April. Not far away now.

In the meantime, we have a good friend, Becky, coming to stay for two weeks as of tomorrow, then we will head up to Ratanakiri again for a couple of weeks before returning to our wooden house in Battambang to pack up and say good bye to everyone here. We will put all our belongings in storage here.

Our plans for being in Blighty are unconfirmed as of yet but we can say we will be around longer than our original provision plan of two to three months. This means we will try to have a bit more of a base than just touring around. We hope to be able to set up base in Yate (Catherine's hometown) and then be able to travel around to see people from there. We will let you know when things are clearer, as you can imaginge there are a lot of arrangements to be made.

Adventure Anniversary

2007-02-06T03:59:00.000Z

Last sunday made it a year since we arrived in Bodge. Catherine and I asked ourselves what gave us most life about being here and what times were most special to us. This is a sample of our responses:

Watching Eden and Forrest grow and flourish, particular moments including when Forrest did something new that he was really proud of (e.g. triking back from friends in the country and potty learning) and seeing Eden exploring and embracing his surroundings (especially one long hug and kiss of Ausman, a six year old friend, much to Ausman's shock and following delight).

Watching Catherine pottering around the neighbourhood and local garden in the wat with the boys in their hats and colourful clothes.

Catherine baking bonanza of bread and ham and potatoes at Christmas.

Our relationship and growing friendship with our helper Torika, especially seeing her work through on difficult circumsatnces outside of work and playing with Forrest.

Those times of feeling at ease sitting on a table bed under a neighbours house passing the time of day.

The difficult but rewarding experience of learning about ourselves and being challenged about what our priorities really are in life, just by being here.

Party in the Phuum

2007-02-06T03:46:00.000Z

Last saturday our neighbours had a party as the grandmother was going to visit relatives in Australia for three months. We were invited after the boys were already in bed so only Tim could go, which was a shame, but he had agreat time. Khmer parties can be very formal affairs but not this one. It was just extended family and immediate neighbours and after the mandatory chicken curry was consumed round circular plastic tables it was time to dance.

In addition to the two tables was a karaoke machine with attended public address system speakers set up in a clearing between two houses surrounded by trees and open to the stars. A chair was set in the middle of the clearing as the centre point of the dance. Dancing here, like life, is circular, slow and rhythmic with occasional up beat crescendos, and of course it includes everyone from young to old all. The songs were a fusion of traditional folk music with dance base beats, we really enjoy it (normally from a distance, overhearing other peoples parties across the village).

The only bit Tim was not to keen on was the downing of numerous glasses of beer with ice in it. Neither downing beer nor ice in beer are really his thing anymore (not that ice in beer ever was....). Tim left at about eleven when the granny went to bed, it went on till two. We would like to have a party like this when we leave at the end of march but maybe finish a little earlier!

Chheoung

2007-02-06T03:19:00.000Z

Our first language helper, Srey Laek, suddenly and unannounced left for America. It is not uncommon here. This gave us the opportunity to reassess our language learning. After a break we restarted with a different language helper each, each having two mornings a week.

Tim's language helper is called Chheoung. We had heard of him but not met him till our friend Gordon from Ratanakiri came to visit. Chheoung and his family used to live and work in Ratanakiri before he got arthritis, malaria and respiratory trouble. They then returned to their family village just outside Battambang town. He now is a farmer and pastor (in his free time) of the village church. He has also helped other foreigners learn Khmer conversation using a book with the same phonetic system that we were already using.

Chheoung is like Gordon in many ways, a good listener who is in no rush. He speaks Khmer slowly and clearly and does not tire of repeating what he has siad or saying it again more simply. He quite laid back and informal as well as being interested in innovative agricultural experiments. He is the kind of bridge person and friend that Tim has been looking for all year, which is very encouraging. His family is very sweet too, especially their youngest boy who is five.

Tim cycles over the bridge and along by the Sangke river and a smaller shaded stream to their house in Okccheay for his lessons. He is really enjoying it.

Eden of the garden

2007-02-05T04:10:00.000Z

Eden is leading the way in Khmer inculturation. He is not very interested in our hoard of toys, books and games in the house, no, he is off out into the garden to scrabble in the dirt and play with sticks or balls or anything else he can find for that matter. He is commonly found round the back or off by the fence somewhere or alternately making a dash for it when the gate is open. Given half a chance he is off out the gate and round to one of the neighbours with a parting squeal of delight to let you know that he really should have an adult with him. He will chat and play and befriend almost any Khmer that he meets. On our recent trip to Phnom Penh he kept stopping to look at white people, somewhat uncertain of them, before trotting off to find the nearest brown face to play with. It seems he has discovered his Father's love of these friendly yet wounded people.

In the Countryside

2007-02-05T04:02:00.000Z

We love going on forays in to what Forrest calls the countryside, whether it be out the back of our house amongst the chamkars (snall vegetable and fruit tree farms) or further a field to the paddy fields. Sometimes we go by foot, sometimes by bike, and increasingly Forrest goes on his trike, Gordon, which is really a steam engine. Our trips alternate between racing along excitement and chatting about everything to we see and unscheduled descents into peace, silence and tranquility, moments of awe and wonder. What a gift these times are for us all.

Wat Kor - cultural village

2007-02-05T03:45:00.000Z

We live in Phuum Wat Kor or Wat Kor Village, named after the local Buddhist temple-cum-moastery. It has recently become a cultural village according to the governement and you can go and visit many of the older wooden houses to find out about life here. By older, it means pre-Khmer Rouge traditional style merchant class houses, these are called "ancient" by the signs inviting you in!

On asking Kilok why there are a disproportionate number of these traditional houses in Wat Kor (they are hard to find elsewhere) we were somewhat unnerved to hear that it was because Brother Number Two has his base here during the Pol Pot era..... so we are the cultural beneficiaries of a bit of Genocidal NIMBYism, lovely! Such is often the way we think.

Unsurprisingly, this also accounts for the fact that there is more of the French colonial brick buildings intact in the centre of town than in most other provincial towns.

Along the riverside road in Wat Kor it would seem that many of the Khmer Rouge cadre still reside here and have not lost there place and even accumulated some 'modern' wealth to boot judging by the compounds that have replaced the communes.....

M'Cha Pteah nung Om Ra

2007-02-05T03:40:00.000Z

Our landlady (M'Cha Pteah) is a wee live wire of a women who talks a dime to the dozen, we are always having to ask her to talk slowly and to say that again please. Indeed, all of her family (eleven of them including orphaned nephews and nieces) are pretty busy. They sporadically descend on our house like a swarm to do some job or other and them are as quickly gone.

They have lived on a small farm ten minutes walk from us outback for ten years, looking after and claiming it for some rich acquaintance. At the end of last year they were given notice to move out, which meant they had to move back into our house or be on the street. This was disasterous for them as they would lose two livelihoods, the farm and the income from rent. With eleven mouths to feed (150kg of rice a month), three dogs and six cows this is pretty serious stuff. Anyway, with various abortive attempts to solve the dilemma the successful solution has entailed them moving in with us (minus dogs and cows!?!). This is not as crazy as it may seem.

Our bike shed has been flattened and our small banana grove relocated to clear space for them to build a small wooden house in our garden at the back of the house. Om Ra (Uncle Ra) the landlady's husband has taken unpaid leave from his job and built the house virtually single handed. It has been fascinating to see and we have been able to help hear and there. I say we, as Forrest and Eden have delighted in living on a building site and are very keen to help, as well as both taking a real shine to Om Ra who is very sweet with them.

They have now moved in, well most of them, a couple of the older boys looking after the cows and dogs that are still on the farm. We are unclear what is happening with them, other than that they are NOT moving in with us! They are all very quite and keep to themselves so far, so we are seeing another side to them. They are probably on best behaviour, we are looking forward to see how things develop with living with them and yet are glad it is a fixed and short period. We were concerned about being overrun and losing our space, especially for Forrest, but so far it is Forrest and Eden who are spending lots of time in their house not the other way round.

Meet the neighbours: Kilok

2007-02-05T03:08:00.000Z

Kilok lives round the corner from us and is a good friend of the previous tenants of our house. He runs a local organistion that provides homecare and counselling for HIV+/AIDS sufferers in their villages and also supports HIV+/AIDS orphans to remain in school and find work. It is intriguing in tow ways, one, that it works in colloboration with the local Buddhist monks who offer counselling and guidance in meditation and, two, that the whole organisation (with eight staff) runs off less than 15,000 pounds sterling ($26,000). Way to go Kilok. Kilok is a cuddly guy with a mean military style haircut, he is very soft and gentle with Forrest yet quite outspoken and unafraid of conflict. He is a rare gem.

Meet the neighbours: Pondo Mama

2006-11-03T03:00:00.000Z

When we were in Pondoland, South Africa, we met lots of larger than life Mama's who knew how to smile from ear to ear and how to laugh from deep down in their ample bellies. They loved their cooking pots and the hospitality that flowed out of them in copious amounts, they radiated joy and generosity, all amidst hardship and poverty.

Our next door neighbour is just like them, there are regularly groups of people sitting round and on the table under her house enjoying her hospitality and laughter, whether it be enjoying the food, playing cards, drinking wine or just being with her. We enjoy going round to her house most days too, we are always welcome and invited to join whatever is happening.

What a Mama!

How does she do it and raise three girls on her own?

Meet the neighbours: the two grannies

2006-11-03T02:35:00.000Z

Ausman and Lina come round most days to play. They live in a liitle hut just out front to our left, I think it is illegal. They live with their two grannies (Dad went AWOL long ago and Mum lives and sells elsewhere).

The two grannies are straight out of Cambodia's version of Coronation Street or Eastenders, they are classic.

One, skin and bone with a thatch of black curly hair, strides stiffly by with fag in mouth and hands behind back or carrying her bamboo fishing rod with her catch of fish from the flooded rice fields. She is hard and dry as leather in body and speech, there is little of either, she is always on the go.

The other is plump and soft with silvery white hair, all brushed and never out of place. She doesn't come by so often but when she does she takes her time, as does her little white dog. More often than not she is sat at home, under the hut, making something pretty out of recycled wrappers and palm fronds.

They bring us food.....

Meet the neighbours: On your bike!

2006-11-03T02:24:00.000Z

He lives out back in what I can only describe as a shack of a bungalow surrounded, in the wet season, by a sea of mud churned up by his three cows. Most days you can see him hanging in his hammock studiously reading his english language textbooks with his crutches hung on a post beside him - he has only one leg.

This morning I saw peddle by to work on his bicycle with his one good leg and his one prosythetic leg. He works on the gate at Emergency, a hospital for landmine victims, gunshot, knife (and arrow) wounds and traffic accidents; they employ former patients.

The thing that struck me most this morning about this remarkable man was his perfect white jeans!

October Updates

2006-10-11T17:41:00.000+01:00

Lots more photos for the blog!

Rest of the photos are on the Lawrence family photo album on the link to the right

Bon Pchum Ben

2006-10-06T03:22:00.000+01:00

Recently we had Bon Pchum Ben - Festival for the Dead, when ancestor are remembered and paid reverence and appeased? It is a big deal here, on a parallel to Christmas without the shopping, just making millions of rice, moong bean and pork cakes in banana leaves (I prefer Chrsitmas cake).

Whilst there is a holiday and festival atmosphere it seems a bit morbid and fearful to us but maybe some feel that way about Easter and the crucifixion. We don't really understand it much to be honest. We went to the Catholic church to see what was going on there as well as our local Buddhist Wat (Pagoda).

The service at the Catholic church, as far as I could make out, was about the cloud of witnesses and God's Spirit being the comforter of those who mourn. At the Wat it seemed to be more about making merit and offerings so that your ancestors are happy for another year (not very Buddhist to my ear; more like Chinese ancestor worship) but as I said we don't really understand it all.

It is a difficult time of year for some (maybe many) as it is a family time, like Christmas, and for those without or with some missing (most here) it can be very painful. This was brought home to us when one of neighbours burst into tears when Tim was visiting them, Tim only asked if they wanted to play a game with us. This was too much for the mother who lost her husband four years ago and has three daughters and relies on hosting card games (gambling) for a livelihood. Gutting.... What can you do?

Not a lot when you can't speak the language or know what one could do to help if you understood life here.

We know that this mother and widow is not unusual. Indeed, from our langauge route in the neighbourhood we know there are many Husbands and Fathers who are not around: absent working, left completely (probably for another woman), or dead. We think some who are apparently dead are really 'as good as dead' or 'as bad' as the case maybe.

Family ties seem stronger by bloodlines (the women seem to stick together) than by marriage. Where are the good Fathers and Husbands?

The death of a washer woman (Tim)

2006-10-06T03:03:00.000+01:00

My experiment with being the family washer woman has come to an end (for awhile at least).Why did it get dropped?

It might be because I could not break free of my western (and male?) drives to achieve and be effectiveor my lack of staying power and stamina, being weak and flabby in spirit or having a bad back.

My reasons are something like this:My list of things to do was getting bigger and bigger, even though I kept prioritising things off it.Washing was meant to come before the 'task' of the morning (e.g. DIY, gardening, communications, shopping).In reality it became the 'task' of the morning.Our friend and Catherine's mentor asked pointedly, 'what are the most important things you want to do?What are you going to drop?'She and her husband had tried a similar experiment.. they lasted four months.

I have tried various ways to get the other jobs done, for example, we are increasing writing letters by hand in the evenings as this saves on internet time,Srey Mik from next door now swweps and weeds our yard(It takes her forty minutes a day and she is quick and adept, how long for me?).New DIY projects have been indefinitely postponed.

There is still much to be done and yet the one thing I really want to do is to have more time to learn Khmer,and one thing Catherine and Forrest need is for me to have a bit more time one-to-one with him.

Additionally, one of the aims of being a washer woman was to empathise and try to see how to empower mothers and wifes,especially where the husband and father is not around for whatever reason. I think I have seen better ways to do this now, or at least other ways.

Is this a cop-out? probably.

Ball Boy

2006-10-06T02:59:00.000+01:00

Eden could not be more different from Forrest. He has had a wee cough but otherwise has not been ill at all.Beyond this though, he is a very different little man. Eden is a ball boy. He is all action, if he is not chasing a ball saying "bal, bal", he is climbing something or throwing rocks.He is happy to be held and play with most people and likes a crowd, unlike our more reserved Forrest.Forrest has always been a watcher and takes his time before getting involved with people and activities.He is just starting to relax, open up, make friends and play with the local kids.Eden is straight in there.

He has taken a few unaided steps but is mainly content with racing around on all fours or charging around pushing Forrest's blue plastic chair in front of him, the teapot has been discarded!He is also keen on Forrest's sit on car, either to push or just to sit on and say "brum, brum"."Diddy" is his only other word.

Eden loves to play peep-bo and being tickled whilst chasing around on the floor. He likes rough and tumble and cuddles but you always have to watch for his teething bite, owwww!We are still finding it odd that he has blond hair, where did it come from?Tim's thought is that he looks a bit like his great-grandad Ernest, but that might just be the gummy grin....

Forrest Fire

2006-10-06T02:54:00.000+01:00

It is a little while ago now, over a month in fact, but Forrest got sick again. He seems the most susceptible amongst us. He had a mild fever coming and going for three or four days.Then on the tuesday night he suddenly was burning up (39.6 - 40 degrees celsius).Next morning saw no improvement and a large swelling under the left ear.Conflicting opinions from two local khmer doctors did nothing to help.One said, "I don't know this, got to Phnom Penh or Siem Reap". The other, "its nothing to worry about, come back in three days".Advice from a expat medical friends was "we are unclear over the phone, play safe, go to Phnom Penh."

An hour and a half later we were packed and in a taxi heading for Phnom Penh.Five hours later we were with our doctor friend.Forrest protested at having his throat inspected.It seemed Forrest had mumps but our friend still wanted the opinion of a trusted kids doctor.The trusted kids doctor diagnosed it as strept throat, a bacterial infection. By this time the fever had broken after raging for nearly three days.The danger with strept throat is that if not caught and treated quickly it can cause rheumatic fever.The danger with this is that it can cause heart problems.We had wait in Phnom Penh for two weeks and take two sets of antibiotics before we got the all clear.

Forrest is fine now. We learn some good lessons from this Forrest Fire.One, seek medical help sooner for anything with a fever.Two, fevers should be getting treated after three days at the latest.Three, we can get to Phnom Penh pretty quick if we need to, what about Bangkok?Four, most, if not all kids Forrest's age still sleep in the day here, Forrest doesn't.Most of the sickness Forrest has had report lack of rest and stress as contributing factors. What to do?

More new Photos!!

2006-08-12T10:31:00.000+01:00

For all the photo sets click on the FLIKR Link over there-------->>

New Photos!

2006-08-12T10:03:00.000+01:00

Blue plastic chair walking

2006-07-05T04:28:00.000+01:00

Eden upgraded from blue plastic teapots to blue plastic chairs the other night. Unaided he decided to take Forrest's blittle blue plastic chair for a walk around the house. He was very excited and proud of himself, as were we. His wanderings have now become a regular feature of the day as has the sight of Eden waving to anyone and everyone that passes by. He is growing up fast and sleeping well!

Flying ants and frogs

2006-07-05T04:20:00.000+01:00

When you get an overcast day here with a little drizzle you get hundreds of 'may pling tom', large flying ants, come out. We had one of these days the other day and Tim noticed hundreds of flying ants ascending from one corner of the garden, the whole family went to investigate.

The flying ants were issuing forth from a small hole in the ground like fighter planes scrambled to meet an imminent attack. No sooner than we arrived one of the lizards that live in the coconut trees arrived and devoured fifteen or so flying ants before she was seen of by a squad of hungry frogs. The largest one repeatedly flicked out her long red tongue and gobbled up fifty or so flying ants before handing over to her comrades. It was quite a sight. Whilst they were waiting their turn the rest of the squad of frogs would patrol the area looking for more nests or keeping the lizard at bay, amazing.

Noticing Noses

2006-07-05T04:14:00.000+01:00

The Cambodians call all "Barrangs" (french people or westerns) 'long noses'.

On returning from our first day of language learning route with our neighbours Forrest promptly observed:

"Mummy and Daddy and Eden and Forrest all have the same noses".

He is a very observant young man!
His language learning is taking a similar vein, he does not say much Khmer but when he does it is usually unprompted and correct. He is taking it all in and then when he has got it he uses it very naturally.

Board Games and the Greatest Pool in the World

2006-06-20T10:04:00.000+01:00

We are just back from a planned break (after four months) in Ratanakiri (in the North East).
It was lovely, we stayed at our dear friend Gordon's and ate tea with him and chatted in the evening. In the days we hand with the Crowley family mainly playing Carcassonne (a board game) and going swimming at the volcanic plug lake (the greates pool in the world) with the five (of six) kids who were at home (from 5-20 yrs old).

Speaking of board games, we have also got a board game evening going at the weekend in Battambang with other foreigners. We love it. So far we have been mainly playing Settlers of Catan, you should too......

We have now started langauge learning proper with our new language helper, Srey Let, she is the daughter of a Khmer friend of ours and speaks better English than us!?!

My blue plastic teapot

2006-06-20T10:00:00.000+01:00

When Eden crawls round he goes everywhere with his blue plastic teapot in hand or mouth, preferably both. Most kids have a favourite teddy or a 'silky' or snowman but our Eden has his blue plastic teapot.....

He is doing a lot of standing up to the furniture now too, and "dada" and "baba". He is full of beans and blonde.........go figure!?!

Colours in Khmer

2006-06-20T09:51:00.000+01:00

Colours in Bodge seem so bright and vivid, so abundant and vibrant, so lush. To our delight the names for some of the colours match are suitably descriptive and evocative, here are a few:

“Poor trajeung jaik” - Banana leaf colour

“Poor knaut” - Sugar Palm colour (the colour of their trunks)

“Poor tuk kroit” - Orange juice colour (as oranges themselves are green here...)

There also various “Poor pkaa ......”s – the colours of various flowers, which I guess is not so dissimilar from english violets, lavender, fuscia pink etc.,

We have always loved banana leaf green but even more so now that we are surrounded by it. Banana leaf green and so many other colours, textures and hues here remind us of God in creation, wonderful!

Uninvited and UNWELCOME visitors

2006-06-20T09:45:00.000+01:00

We have all manner of things living in our garden and house, most are welcome if not invited, but we have a few uninvited visitors that we are not so sure about.
The frogs, lizards, geckos, ants (outside anyway), sparrows and most of the plants are great to have about, there area few noxious creepers and grass is a pain to weed but on the whole we are most happy to have such abundant life on our property.

Our unwelcome visitors are scorpions. Apparently there are two main kinds in Cambodia: big black ugly nasty mean looking ones (5 – 10cm or 2-4inches) and little sandy shimmery brown ones. They are both pretty common, so we are told. Now the big black ugly nasty mean looking ones are meant to be more looks than sting and we have been reassured by a few people not to worry overly about them. The little ones on the other hand are meant to be more serious but again we are assured they are NOT fatal even for little ones and babies (although this is not first hand info). We do know two kids that have been bitten by the little ones and just got sick for a short time though.

Having said all that we DON'T want to find out how bad their sting is. We have already found and killed three of the big black ugly nasty mean looking ones on our plot (none in the house). They like to live under big stones or the big water storage jars. They are frightening, very intimidating in their movements and posturing but so far have been pretty easier to bash to pieces, one suffered a hoe and the other two (one was already half dead on it's back – don't know how) got the round knob end of my South African knobkerry (stick/staff).
I would rather they just quietly left the property, “get off my land!” than killing them. Please pray them off our land, I have kids to think of. Any offers for a bit of broadband internet searching and summarising on South East Asian scorpions would be most appreciated too.
Thank you my friends.

Frog quiz

2006-05-12T05:26:00.000+01:00

Which one fo the following places have we not found a friendly frog (answers in comments please)?

1. In Forrest's shoe as he put it on

2. In the basket of clothes to be washed

3. Jumping out of the water tank that we wash from

4. On the toilet light switch

5. In Catherine's coffee mug

6. Inside the cardboard tube of the toilet roll

7. In with the soapy clothes washing water

Torika

2006-05-12T05:25:00.000+01:00

One of our new Khmer friends, Sarika, we met briefly in Taize when Forrest was tiny, she is a teacher and youthworker with the Catholic St Vincent de Paul Society here. She has helped us find a companion called Torika. Torika used to be in Sarika's youth group. We are having a trial period with Torika being with us 8am till 4pm five days a week. She helps us with cooking and cleaning and with the boys. It is hopefully more than this though and is about sharing life together. We try to share the tasks around and there is also a large element of learning. We are learning lots from her: Khmer cooking, language and culture etc., She too is learning english language and culture from us. She is also interested in community development too so there will be opportunities as we go along for learning about that too. We can do many things together too that would be difficult alone, for example: Torika has just started a vegetable plot in our garden for which she has neither the land or the tools etc where she lives. She only knows how to grow a few leafy vegetables but that is more than us, so we can get started, then later maybe together we can learn some more from outside friends. Torika is nineteen and is currently staying with a friend because life at home was very difficult. She studies from 5-8.30pm every night at the St Vincent de Paul Society. The “T” in her name sounds more like a “D”.

Good things come to those who wait

2006-04-06T14:37:00.000+01:00

We came down to Phnom Penh two weeks ago for five days to get our new bank cards, transfer money, and get the process of getting our shipping through customs started in person, we are still here.....

We have heard nothing but stories of trouble in getting things through customs but after a somewhat bizarre switching of companies (the first one suddenly became too busy to help us!) we now have our shipping, hooray! It took the second company (a friend of a friend had a contact who worked for them which is important here) only a week from start to finish, we had to sign and stamp new and redrafted forms everyday or even twice a day. This apparently is as a amazing if not miraculous result. We are so pleased as we are off to Siem Reap (where the temples are) on saturday for a week and it will be Khmer New Year too so if had not been tody or tomorrow it would have dragged out all the while increasing storage fees.

Our trip to Sien Reap is to go on a retreat with the Mennonite Central Committee Asia region, Tim is co-facilitating morning sessions on post-modernism with Kristin Jack fom Servants to Asia's Urban Poor. The retreat hotel has a pool and paddling pool and the afternoons are free, evenings are for board games and videos. A free holiday, lovely!

Tomorrow is Catherine and I's fifth wedding anniversary. Two of the Servants short-term volunteers baby sat for us on tuesday evening, so we had a romantic evening meal out at the Boddhi Tree with it's gorgeous Khmer food, lushious chocolate mousse and forest garden of tropical plants. Tomorrow some new kapok mattresses (like a futon) that we have had made will arrive, a new wedding bed and extensions for the kids (we have had two double mosquito nets sewn together to make a giant family bed). We have also been furniture shopping in Phnom Penh (simple dark brown plain bookshleves and tables), so we are all set to fill a small truck to take it all to Battambang once the retreat is finished. It is wonderful to be making home here and fulfilling the dream we invited people to give towards on our wedding day.

Tomorrow, we will also take turns looking after the boys whilst the other partner goes off for an hour long Khmer massage,'we have both needed one for awhile.....

Good things come to those who wait.......

Mobile phone correction

2006-04-03T15:19:00.000+01:00

I just noticed that our mobile phone number is incorrect on the earleir post, it is:

+855-92-916451

Sorry.
We should have a PO Box in Phnom Penh sorted out soon, apparently mail doesn't get through to Battambang PO Boxes.....

We are currently in Phnom Penh waiting.......for our shipping to clear customs, come on!

1.Washing our clothes by hand

2006-04-03T15:13:00.000+01:00

I have been getting up just before sunrise each day to wash our clothes. I sit on my little green stool in my red and white karma (sarong) with my scrubbing brush, a big red plastic tub, a green plastic bucket and an old milk powder tin of washing powder. The clothes are first soaked in soapy water in the big tub for fifteen minutes before each item is scrubbed and put in the green bucket to soak some more. Having scrubbed everything good and proper the soapy water in the big tub is tipped out and runs across one corner of the garden into a sink hole. Water for rinsing is scooped out of a large concrete jar that is filled everyday or two from our standpipe. Each item of clothing is then rinsed and wrung out before being hung on the line between the coconut tree and the mango tree. The water from rinsing is used for watering the decorative garden plants.

From start to finish the whole process takes between half an hour and an hour, depending on the amount of clothing from the day before. This is “my” time, some days I sing Taize chants, some days I let my mind wander and wonder, and other days I am too tired to think or pray.
Most foreigners in Cambodia employ a Khmer to do such tasks but it is a task I am determined to do (although I don’t know how long this determination will last, especially when the washable nappies arrive……) Some might think this is not an effective use of my time and others might even say I am depriving a Cambodian a job opportunity, they may be right but I have my reasons for conducting this experiment.

2.The ethics of handwashing

2006-04-03T15:11:00.000+01:00

Sitting at my stool scrubbing away as shadows and greys turn to colour and spring to life I often think of the other people who are up washing the clothes all around me and in the villages across the country. It is a bit like being a nanny or childminder in Brighton, nearly everyone else doing it is female. The ones I think of most are female household heads (in other words single mothers). There are a lot of these in Cambodia as a result of violence, infidelity and disease.

How do they cope?
How do they cope not only with the washing, cooking, cleaning but with raising their families and securing a livelihood too?

I couldn’t cope; I am not made of stern enough stuff.
Too much of my energy and vitality is dissipated and lost through the luxury of worrying about who I am and am I acceptable and all that sort of thing – the poverty of identity of the rich and of the post-certainty generation?

It has long been my hope and growing conviction that entering into the world and way of life of the poor in Cambodia that I would be able to find a contentment and peace within myself that I find elusive in the west. It is not that I want to be poor, nor do I think the lot of the overburdened single mother is in anyway romantic. Much of it is oppressive and miserable, the cycles seemingly unending and endless.

Yet I want to explore whether there can be a contentment and balance in the cycles and rhythms of the mundane and manual, in the normal and hard. It seems in the west we are always running from the earthiness of life looking for leisure and amusement or feeling the need to be effective and bigger and better and more impressive. Similarly foreigners come here to be development workers and end up with servants, getting one of these mothers to do there washing too whilst they go to work to be effective doing projects. In both contexts it is hard for us to do otherwise, even unattractive, it is easier not too, I can testify to that.

Nor do I think there is anything redemptive in suffering or deprivation in and of itself. Rather I hope in embracing some (and it is only some, a little even) of the menial, mundane and manual that some freedom can be found and a deeper sense of who we really are, both for myself and for the working single mother. I hope that it will give me a white, well educated, rapidly approaching middle aged powerful male more empathy and understanding of how the other half (majority) live and that this might change me. I hope through this space might be created for the person who isn’t washing my clothes to improve their livelihood and sense of worth and value through doing something that comes from the deepest desires of their heart but up till now there has been no time for….. I am not quite sure how this will happen though, it is more something I trust will become apparent along the way.

This might seem an odd way to go about things but Jesus and Gandhi seemed to have taken similarly ineffective approaches to social change……
Or to put it another way, it is not just a lifestyle choice but an attempt to experiment with what a just lifestyle is.

3.Environmental Impact Assessment of handwashing

2006-04-03T15:08:00.000+01:00

It is odd to compare myself to a washing machine in England but I do. I wash a load of clothes in about the same time as a washing machine. Admittedly they are not as clean or as soft but I am pretty confident that I use a lot less water and energy and I use about half the washing powder.

So I am more environmentally friendly than a washing machine!
Forget the ratings on the machines in England and get hand washing (just kidding!?!). This is not my point, we wash our clothes here more frequently because of the sweat and dust so it probably levels out.

The think that has struck me most though is the amount of soapy water I do produce everyday, not just washing clothes but dishes and bodies too. If you see it all sloshing across the soil and leaving it’s residue it is quite shocking. In the west our wonderful plumbing and waste treatment and disposal systems hide all this, we are oblivious a lot of the time. It is a lot of soapy water.

The environmental chains are shorter here. The land fill for our neighbourhood’s rubbish is on the next door plot, I can throw a disposable nappy over the fence and just get it on the tip, then watch it being burnt a few days later if the dogs haven’t got it first… I am ashamed at the amount of rubbish we produce compared to our neighbours, the disposable nappies must stop, it is an issue right in my face and under my nose (literally).

The karaoke next door plays a song with the chorus “What can I do?”
Well, I am going to look into how to make a grey water sand and gravel filter for all our grey water so we can use it all on our garden plants. I would like to see if there are ways to reduce the amount or change the type of soaps we use too, but that might be difficult.

What I won’t do is get depressed about it all or feel overwhelmed. I have learnt to try and do just a little bit at a time; we are all on a journey. I also believe in the butterfly effect; small changes can have a global impact.

This was bought home to me last year by doing a crude internet questionnaire about how many planets we would need if everyone consumed like me. I did the twelve or fourteen questions twice, both for the same family of four with the same attitude and approach to life, one living in Brighton and one living in Battambang. The result was fascinating, whilst needing 1.7 planets in Brighton we only needed 1.0 in Battambang. I had always planned to come to Cambodia to try to tackle social, economic, environmental and political issues at a community level, little did I realise that it would have such a positive effect on a global level.

In the west we are so immersed in such a consumerist society it is hard to see the flow let alone swim against it; we are structurally assumed and even obligated to be part of so many systems that aren’t good news to the planet and its people. Stepping outside of those taken for granted and hidden systems can helps me see things in a different way, whether I can then find the grace and faith to change is another matter. It is in a way a bit like a fast or an act of non-co-operation, it can change our perspective and break old habits.

It is amazing what you can learn doing the washing by hand…..

Jelly Fish

2006-03-13T08:32:00.000Z

Catherine writes: Learning to cook Khmer style has been great with a friend to show me the ropes. Two of my favourites Da's been teaching me are Amok - Cambodian fish curry in coconut cream and another: Fried fish with ginger and beans. However Asian market shopping is a far cry from Sainsbury's!
After market shopping for a couple of weeks I am ready to consider vegetarianism though after running through the non-meat/fish sources of protein around here I realise it's not really a great option. Don't get me wrong, I love the finished product but my stomach turned just like the fish which flipped it's way out of the display bowl onto the floor. This one is still wriggling after the shopkeeper hacks it's tail off and slices down it's length. (At least it's fresh I suppose). Is that another fish moving under that sarong? No it's just the sellers foot caked in blood and scales which she scrapes off each fish as she prepares it for the buyer. I hand over the cash being careful not to touch the lump of blood and pig's flesh on a note...must've gotten that one from the butcher! Well I made a point of learning how to ask for the fish to be fully prepared: "Can you make it beautiful for me please?".

"Shall we eat sweets" Da asks as we sit at a table beside the market. Large bowls filled with jelly-like substances confront me. Who knows what they contain? I can only describe them as frogspawn like in texture - some yellow, grey, dark green or black - which would you choose? The serving lady spoons the delightful mixtures into little plastic bags for take-away, but there is no time for procrastination for me as I dive into the unknown...only baby coconuts in consdensed milk - yummy! Can we come again tomorrow?

We have a found a house to rent!

2006-03-10T09:23:00.000Z

We have found a house to rent.
It is the house we are staying in now, yes, Luc's house.
(see family photos link for pictures of it from last years trip)
Luc has bought a house which his father in law is in the process of renovating and extending.
Luc is currently in Europe working but Tharin (his wife) and family are scheduled to move out of their current rented house in the middle of March (very soon!).

We have looked around at numerous houses in numerous neighbourhoods and come to the conclusion that the best house we have seen is the one we are in, so we have decided to rent it for an initial two and a half months trial with the view to staying in it all year.

The new house is not ready yet so it looks like Tharin and Da (the home help) will be staying with us till the end of March. It will be great to have them around that bit longer to get to know them better and to soften the transition to equipping and running a home in Cambodia. It will ne odd but nice to have them as our guests!

Little did I imagine that when I started chatting to Luc in Singapore airport last July yhat I would end up renting his kiddie proofed and electrically sound house.......It makes you wonder.

2006-03-03T08:30:00.000Z

This week we've been staying at home (Luc's house) until after lunch and then going for a potter about afterwards when its abit cooler. In the mornings Tim's been handwashing and playing with Forrest whilst I've (Catherine) been going to the food market with the house help "Da" and learning how to cook proper Khmer food. She's been pulling out all the stops, we cooked curry from scratch including pounding the lemongrass and spices for half an hour! Forrest is eating rice and meat better than ever. We had our first sweet sticky rice last night as a gift from our friend we met in Taize - it came packaged in a bamboo stem, yummy! Eden has mainly been rolling around in his cot/tent, sucking his toes, eating mashed banana and generally being very yummy too. Forrest has been learning to wave at the monks as they pass by, and he's very assertive at telling the khmers to go away when they poke and prod him in the market! We saw a real ox drawn cart and several horse and traps in town - now you don't get those in Phnom Penh!'

Cone khming nam jaik

2006-03-03T08:21:00.000Z

Eden (cone khming = little child) has started eating solids, for two days now he has been eating mashed banana (nam = eat and jaik = banana). He is loving it. He has been after our food for awhile and now we are not traveling around we can sterilise things more easily. He has half or a whole one at each sitting. He is drinking lots of water too.

He is rolling over and wiggling about the place. He loves being in his little mosquito net tent - cum - travel cot thing and playing with the toys the Tappendens gave him. He sleeps in there inthe day sometimes or in his sling and night he happily sleeps through the karaoke next door, as does Forrest, which is good. Luckily it only goes till nine most nights. Unfortunately, in the singing department the Khmer are not like the Filipinos or Malaysians, they can't all sing well (especially not the ones that frequent next door!)

Scrabbling in the dirt

2006-03-03T08:08:00.000Z

Forrest loves being outside all day, most of all he seems to love scrabbling in the dirt (earth) in the garden at our friends house. After lunch is rest time and Forrest likes to spend it under the trees in the shade with the little 'dinky' style Thomas train engines he was given by Shaun in Phnom Penh. He gets one of us to carve a track through the dusty dry earth with a bit of broken tile and then has a merry old time role playing.

For example the track starts over by the red bunny trike near the house and heads for the fence before hanging right toward the roots of tree. Off this a loop line branches left with it's own sidings and large leaves for engine sheds (Stepney, Percy, Duncan, Rusty, Diesel and Hot Wheels the car love to sleep under them after a long journey). The main line then stops at Edwards station before going through tunnels (imaginary) and over bridges, along by the river (where the washing has dripped off the line) and over to the city (a big rock under a bush).

Since recovering from his tummy bug Forrest has really got into Khmer food too. We have never seen him eat so much and so well, rice, noodles, fruit, meet and a few vegetable. He is lerning to drink like a horse too, great big swigs of water at regular drinking stops. By his eating, drinking and playing on his own quietly we know he is a happy little boy.

Wild Horses

2006-02-25T04:17:00.000Z

(Catherine here)
Maybe I am just a bit saddle sore from my new bike (kong) but arriving in Battambang feels like learning to ride a wild horse! We are moving forward at quite a pace but I am not sure that I have got much control over where the horse is going..... The ride has been smooth so far but I am not sure whether I am going to get bucked off at any moment.

Has the horse got a saddle, stirrups and reins?
Tim feels like the saddle helping me feel secure.
The local expats (mainly filipino) and khmers we have met so far feel like the reins helping me get a handle on how to talk and learn where things are.
Any ideas what the stirrups are or how they work?

I feel that if I can just maintain my balance long enough to make friends with the horse we will be ok and be able to enjoy the ride.

Coming of Age

2006-02-25T04:07:00.000Z

Hobbits have their coming of age party at 33 years old, which is much more realistic I think!
Anyway, I (Tim) had my coming of age on monday, which seemed significant and apt as it was the day we arrived in Battambang (our destination for this year's language learning adventure).

I had a fab birthday party. In Brighton I enjoyed saturday morning brunches with my closest friends; it was one of my favourite things about Brighton. This year saw a sunday lunch at Chit Chat coffee house with all my closest friends in Cambodia - lovely!

Still in Phnom Penh

2006-02-17T02:49:00.000Z

We are still in Phnom Penh as Forrest has been acclimatizing to the local intestinal bugs and has had a fever and multiple nappy changes. He has been brilliant about it, drinking well and taking things easy. The first set of anti-biotics have not worked, so we have to up the anti. It was always a matter of time and in some ways it has been good to get it over and done with whilst we still have access to air-conditioning! Please pray (if you do that sort of thing) for his recovery, thank you. (Second lot seems to be working but tastes evil)

We have received such a warm welcome and had the chance to see friends more than once. We have mentioned their names.

Tim first met Jim and Agnes in Thailand on the way to Cambodia in 1995; they were thirty years in Thailand before coming to Cambodia. They have kids our age. Jim is a farm boy from Ireland and Agnes is a farm girl from Canada.

Nigel and Milet were originally aquaculturists with SAO Cambodia that Tim met in 1996 and have been sporadic RISK (the board game) opponents ever since. Nigel now works with a domestic violence project for World Vision and designs his own houses. Milet is a consultant development work around holistic work. They have two kids Tilly and Noah’s age, as do our friends Kristin and Susan.

Tim first met Kristin and Susan in 1998 when he slept over in there house/hut in Chbam Poeu squatter community when Kaleb was only six months old. They lead the Servants to Asia’s Urban Poor team in Phnom Penh that w spent time with in 2004.

Gordon who has just arrived is Tim’s best friend in Cambodia, who has been here since 1993 and before that was in Laos and Thailand. His work has largely been related to community forestry and communal land rights both in the lowlands and in Ratanakiri.

It is very settling and reassuring to have such friends who have seen and done it all, well nearly! We now feel ready to head to Battambang.

We have been doing a lot of fact finding and sorting how to do this and that and as of today have a bank account with ANZ Royal, all we need now is a place to rent and a P.O. box.

Back in Bodge

2006-02-08T13:41:00.000Z

It is good to be back in Bodge!

This week we have been in Phnom Penh, just slowly settling in to being back.

We have spend a lot of time seeing old friends:
Nigel, Milet, Sean and Jasmine Goddard,
Jim and Agnes Verner,
Kristin, Susan, Kaleb and Emma Jack

Tim has know them all for a good number of years (9,10 and 7 respectively). It seems most of the friends Tim made in his firs few extended visits have turned out to have stayed in Cambodia long term and are all old hands now. This is quite amazing considering the turn over rate of ex-patriates here.

It has been so good to see them all and has really helped settle us down. We have had some good fun and Forrest has enjoyed the company in particular. They have all been so helpful too and helped us find our feet with a place to stay while we are in Phnom Penh, getting us and our delayed bags from the airport, gettting year long visas and a SIM card for our phone (+855-12-916451).

Cambodia is a funny place:
It is harder to get a SIM card than a year long visa, they will let anyone in here but apparently it is going to be a nightmare to gt our shipping through customs!

Forrest is loving being back. He is a very happy little soul and eating better than he ever has: rice, noodles, fruit - he loves it so far.

Catherine is wanting to be in two places, here and back with her family - it is both good and hard for her at the moment.

Eden has learnt to turn over (both ways), started to drink water and had his first suck on food - a very juicy watermelon.

So all is going very well. We are off to Battambang at the begining of next week to look for a house to rent. Before then we are taking a quick trip south to Kampot.

Barbie Fashion Thai Style

2006-02-01T02:07:00.000Z

Well, we are happily acclimatising in Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand.

The journey here from Bristol was fine, the hardest bit was saying goodbye to Catherine's whole family. Forrest zoomed around airports on his car and to see a real live Richard Scarry airport was very exciting for both the boys, Eden was more wide eyed than ever.

So we are enjoyng our hotels pool (even though it is ccccold) and the night market. It has changed a lot since Tim first came here ten years ago, a lot more up market now. The creativity and craft is still amazing though and some of the ingenuity hilarious...... Last night's winner was thai style evening outfits for Barbie dolls, they were exquisite, spangly and very frightening!

Better go and wakr the family up so we don't miss breakfast again.

5,4,3,2,1.......

2006-01-12T11:41:00.000Z

Our books and music, toys and games, crockery and bicycle equipment are packed, well nearly!
Tim's job is finished, well nearly!
Our furniture and other belongings of value are up for sale or sold.
In the last week, we have sailed past halfway in raising both up front money and monthly income.
We are in the thick of a string of "goodbyes" and "until we meet agains".

It is all going on and most of it seems to be going on around us.
We are busy and tired but yet we feel we are being carried along.
Thanks for carrying us.

It is nearly time to "GO!"

Are you ready?

Eden's dedication

2005-12-01T13:59:00.000Z

Eden dedication
Originally uploaded by just peace and joy.

Two months and counting.......

2005-11-30T12:44:00.000Z

It is less than two months now till we jump on the plane for Cambodia.
There is still a lot to do.

We have had both our launch events for Friends of Village life, with a combined attendance of nearly seventy people, which isn't bad considering we had around twenty apologies.

We are now officially an explorer's link project with the Community of Aidan and Hilda and we will be joining their annual retreat for four days in January (16th -20th). This will be a great time to emotionally and mentally prepare for moving to Cambodia after all the busyness of sorting out leaving Brighton and the UK. It will also be good to meet the wider community of Aidan and Hilda, as most of our contact so far has been with Ray Simpson, the guardian.

We have received notice from Stewardship Services of our first supporter signing up with them, which is very exciting.

To top it all Eden slept right through last night. Eden has done in three months what it took Forrest 20 months to achieve!

So it all seems to be coming together for the final push before we are off.

Investing in the Friends of Village Life

2005-11-17T12:42:00.000Z

Last saturday (12th November) we had a joint event in Brighton launching the Friends of Village Life and dedicating our youngest son Eden. It was a lovely day for us, it was great that so many people came (about fifty adults and a dozen or more children). It was great to be able to share and celebrate the new life of Eden and the impending new life for our family in Cambodia.

A photo of Eden in his glory will follow soon.......

For those that are interested we have notes of our presentation on the Friends of Village Life.

Part of the presentation was an invite to keep in touch with us and visit us, we also invited people to invest financially in this first fifteen month phase of our adventure. These are open invitations, so do get in contact if you want to take them up.

In addition to email and this website, we will be writing a quarterly newsletter to be send out by post and we have also set up a dedicated bank account for the trip. To enable your giving to go further we have also set an account with Stewardship Services which means if you give to us through them they will claim the tax back for us (as voluntary workers) which means an extra 25p for every £1.00.

Whilst we don't expect anyone to support us financially, we would welcome your investment in the adventure. Please, let us know if you would like one of our Stewardship Services account leaflets.

What is the aim of what your are going to do?

2005-11-01T00:11:00.000Z

For a personal answer to this question read Tim's post "In Search of Living Water" on his blog:

http://tomyumtim.blogspot.com/

Becoming Explorers?

2005-10-28T22:08:00.000+01:00

Having said that we are not linked formally to any group in our newsletter, it looks like we will be now. We are applying both individually and as a “Link Project” to the Community of Aidan & Hilda for “explorer” status.

The Community of Aidan & Hilda is a group that seeks to follow a “Celtic Christian-inspired” Way of Life. ( See http://www.aidan.org.uk/ )

Tim has had loose links with them now for seven or eight years. The holistic spiritual world of Celtic Christianity appealed to his environmental and seeker background and there are many parallels between the heroic pagan agricultural culture of Celtic Ireland and Britain and present day Cambodia.

The Way of Life of the community draws on the monastic style of the Celtic Christians with its three life-giving principles of simplicity, fidelity and respect. The Way of life has ten areas (or spheres) for growth and reflection, which are shared with a soul friend (mentor). The ten areas are:

1. Life Long Learning
2. Spiritual Journey
3. Rhythm of Life: prayer, work, rest and re-creation
4. Resisting Evil
5. Simplicity or Simple Life-Style
6. Cherishing Creation and Creativity
7. Healing Fragmented People, Communities and Land
8. Openness to God’s Empowering Presence
9. Unity or Working with Others
10. Outreach and Community Involvement or Mission

As “explorers”, we would be exploring whether we would want to make a longer-term to commitment to the Community and its Way of Life whilst we are on this first phase of language learning.

In many ways there are similarities and overlaps between these ten areas and the Servants’ mission values and community principles:

Mission Values:
1. Incarnational Model
2. Community Relationships
3. Wholistic Ministry
4. Servant Attitude
5. Simple Lifestyle

Community Principles:
1. Grace
2. Celebration
3. Beauty
4. Creativity
5. Rest

(We spent two months with Servants in Cambodia and the Philippines last year and would have joined them but they only work in urban areas. We still hope to work with them informally.
See: http://www.servantsasia.org/index.asp )

Learning Khmer

2005-10-07T12:45:00.000+01:00

Learning Khmer language and culture is our main task in this first phase of our adventure. It is the foundation for everything else we hope to do, without we will only be able to scratch the surface and struggle to feel at home. How are we going to go about it?

Learning from our neighbours.
We plan to learn how to speak Khmer from our neighbours and integrate this with learning about Khmer life and building relationships in our community. The method we will use, more or less, is called LAMP (Language Acquisition Made Practical).

We are confident we can do this as Catherine learnt fluent Flemish in a year using this approach, Tim picked up basic conversational Khmer in the past using a similar approach and we have has a couple of testers as a family in South Africa and Cambodia. In addition, Catherine has a degree in Linguistics and Anthropology giving us a theoretical framework to back up a tried and tested methodology.

In addition to doing a daily language route talking to different neighbours we will try to find a language helper to aid us in preparing for each outing. Just getting out and trying to talk to people is the best way to learn for us both, so going down to the market or out to buy ice or bread will be our classroom. Building in reading and writing once we get going with two little ones might be more of a challenge though!

Getting Around

2005-10-07T12:43:00.000+01:00

Getting there and away (international flights) is a major cost.
Getting around in Cambodia is a major concern.

Getting from Battambang to Phnom Penh now is not so bad, as the road has just been finished and the buses are good, even air-conditioned. It is more getting around town that is a concern.

The most popular form of transport is motos (pizza delivery style mopeds), these carry whole families, with women riding side saddle! Needless to say this is not a very safe approach, even helmets are fairy unheard of. This is not an approach we want to take with our family.

The problem is there are not many alternatives. To have a car is to alienate yourself from your neighbours, as it is a massive status symbol, and to make your self a target for theft. You then end up needing big walls, big gates and guards….. you get the picture.

So far our planned but experimental solution is a bike trailer for the kids, we will have to see how this goes!

Friends of ours in Phnom Penh have got a Thai tuk-tuk (three wheel motorised rickshaw) but they cover a lot of ground and this would seem like overkill in quieter and small Battambang. A possibility along these lines though is a bicycle rickshaw or ‘cyclor’. You can pick a very nice one from cycles maximus in the UK but we may need to explore cheaper more local options!

A Draft Budget

2005-09-30T10:23:00.000+01:00

This is a draft budget for 15 months first phase in Cambodia but only with one-way tickets.

“Why 15 months?” and “why only one-way tickets?” you may ask.
Well, firstly, we want to get a full twelve months language learning in a neighbourhood in but it will probably take a little while to get a house to rent etc. Secondly, turning up in the UK at the end of January didn’t appeal. If you are going to British winter then do Christmas but that was too soon. Returns only last twelve months, so we were going to have to get a single at some stage, so why not now?

Anyway, back to the budget, cut two ways. One, broken down by what it’s being spent on. Two, split into up front and on-going monthly costs.

1.What are the costs?

Getting to Cambodia*

£ 1,800 ( $ 2,880)

15 months in Cambodia

£ 7,200 ($11,5200)

Total

£9,000 ($14,400)

Breakdown of living costs:

£ 4,500 ($ 7,200) Monthly living allowance (15 x £300)
£ 850 ($ 1,360) Health Insurance
£ 700 ($ 1,120) Visas and Airport Taxes
£ 600 ($ 960) Life Assurance and National Insurance
£ 300 ($ 480) Language
£ 250 ($ 400) Holidays

N.B. This is a draft budget. Certain figures need to be checked, and the whole thing will be run past various people who will be able to comment on it estimates from experience.

* This includes 4 one-way tickets to Phnom Penh plus a weeks acclimatisation in Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand.

2. When will the money need to be spent?

Up front costs

£ 4,000 ($ 6,400)

On-going monthly costs (15 x £333)

£ 5,000 ($ 8,000)

Up front costs include: getting to Cambodia, health insurance, visas and rent.

N.B.
1. These cost do not include costs for setting up a household (furniture, crockery etc.,) as we were given money towards this at our wedding.
2. We might be able to set up a gift aid account and claim tax back (25%).

Health concerns

2005-09-28T11:24:00.000+01:00

In Cambodia, especially with two little ones, health is a concern.
One of the main reasons for Tim's visit to Battambang in the summer was to find out what medical options are available there.

What is available?
There is a local medical practice with a good reputation for doing the basics (x-rays, tests, diagnosis). It is also equipped to carry out operations etc., indeed, they successfully carried out an emergency caesarean for my friend's wife.
There are a handful of foreign doctors in the town who will consult if needed.
Battambang has a number of very well stocked pharmacies, almost anything you can imagine can be bought over the counter plus a few more!

The preferred option for serious illness and accidents is to go to Bangkok, where medical facilities are very good and reasonably priced, or to go to Phnom Penh, where provision is improving all the time.

Health Insurance
To cover us in case of illness and medical emergency, amongst other things, we have taken out travel insurance with STA Travel. This cover includes unlimited medical expenses, air ambulance and repatriation with no excess fees.

What are the main health risks?
The three main types of risk are insect borne and water borne disease and accidents.
Malaria and dengue are the main insect borne culprits and there are a number of intestinal water borne diseases to avoid. On the accidents front, they are less health and safety,and risk assessment mad than the UK, so they are higher in general but the most obvious concern is road safety and transportation.

Importance of prevention:
With all of the above, there are numerous small precautions that can be taken to substantially lower the risks without completely alienating ourselves from our neighbours.
These include: mosquito nets with no holes, covering up at dusk, using repellent, reducing stagnant water, boiling and filtering water, good hand and food washing routines, thorougher cooking and so on. Road safety will be covered separately under transportation.
Key to all this is lifestyle, those who look after themselves (diet, sleep, rest, exercise) and aren't overdoing it get ill less and have less accidents, and recover better if they do. All the little precautions take time and energy, which means trying to do and achieve less. We will need to change the rhythm and pace of our lives in order to stay healthy.

We have a leaving date!

2005-09-24T21:27:00.000+01:00

We have taken the plunge and bought our tickets and travel insurance.

Our departure date is Sunday 29th January 2006.

We will be flying with Quantas to Bangkok from London Heathrow. Then we will have a week’s acclimatisation in Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand before flying to Phnom Penh on Saturday 4th February.

Needless to say we are very excited, it has been a long time coming. Indeed, the day Tim bought the tickets it is almost ten years to the day from when he realised he wanted to live in Cambodia.

Workers in the field

2005-09-03T23:46:00.000+01:00

Transplanting the rice
Originally uploaded by just peace and joy.

The view from the edge of Battambang.
All the photos from Tim's trip are now on the Lawrence Family photos link at just peace and joy. As are more of Eden's birthday

Meet Eden

2005-09-03T22:44:00.000+01:00

Eden up close
Originally uploaded by just peace and joy.

Eden was born at home after a straightforward labour and peaceful delivery at 4.48am on friday the second of september 2005. He weighted 8lbs. He has been happily breastfeeding and sleeping since. He is a very calm little fellow. Catherine is recovering well and Forrest slept through the whole thing.

A neighbourhood on the edge of Battambang

2005-09-01T12:55:00.000+01:00

A neighbourhood on the edge of Battambang
Originally uploaded by just peace and joy.

What's the plan for going to Cambodia?

2005-08-24T20:36:00.000+01:00

A Brief History
Tim has been preparing to return to live and work in Cambodia, since doing work experience there in 1995. It was the impact of the trauma, poverty, violence and suffering of the Khmer Rouge genocide and its ongoing and deep impact on Cambodia, and lowland Khmer village life in particular, that broke and captured his heart. A desire to see village life restored was kindled that has never gone out since. Catherine has wanted to go abroad (somewhere hot!) to live and work with the poor for even longer. We both, independently, had pictures of working up to our elbows in mud. When we were married we asked friends and family to give us gifts of money towards setting up home in Cambodia.

It is time to go at last!
Last year, we went to Cambodia for six weeks with our son, Forrest, to see how our dream might work in practice for us as a family; where would we go? Who with? And to do what? This clarified our vision and values but didn’t answer the where or who with, so this summer Tim went on a two-week trip to look at Battambang Town as a possible starting point. The trip was a great success and we feel we have found the welcome and peace we were looking for about where to go. So, Our plan is to move to Cambodia in the first quarter of next year (2006). All things going well we will go as close to the middle of January as we can as it starts to heat up pretty quickly after that.

Language Learning in Battambang for a year
We plan to go to Battambang to spend one year, initially, to learn the language and settle in as a family. We have been advised that to become fluent in Khmer it requires a year (minimum) studying the language full-time. More than this though, we plan to learn the language (and way of life) from our neighbours, so this will give us the opportunity to build relationships and get involved in community life as a family.

We feel this investment in language learning and building relationships with our neighbours will lay quality foundations for the duration of our residence in Cambodia, however long that may be. Our approach is to have a long-term attitude but to take it step-by-step, year-by-year.

A neighbourhood-based family experiment
Our desire is to experiment as a family with integrating learning from our neighbours, home schooling, community development and income generation; the nature of an experiment being that we don’t yet know the outcome but there is enough to suggest that it is worth trying.

We envision learning from our neighbours, amongst other things:
How to grow fruit trees, vegetables and flowers;
How to raise chickens, ducks and pigs;
How to catch and preserve fish; How to prepare and cook food Khmer style; and
About Khmer festivals and ceremonies.

Through this we can begin to learn about family life, village politics and power relations, and the challenges that face the poor (whether these be physical, relational or in terms of identity and self-worth).

From this we anticipate opportunities opening up to get involved with others in improving the quality of life in the neighbourhood in an integrated way. For example, exploring how to preserve and market mangoes could provide an opportunity for income generation, building community, home schooling and having a tastier and healthier diet all year round!

We expect one or both of us to get part-time employment outside of our neighbourhood (once we have learnt Khmer): Tim with rural community development NGOs and Catherine in some educational capacity. Until we have learnt enough Khmer there may be the opportunity of part-time or casual work teaching English, if we need the money or the outside contact.
We would also love to have a guest room or house for visitors or retreats that could be a source of income and contact with the outside world but this might take some time to get off the ground (literally, if it is on stilts!).

Our motivation to be friends of village life
In all of this our heart is to see the fabric of lowland Khmer village life rewoven after the trauma of the Khmer Rouge genocide and it’s ongoing legacy of cycles of injustice, poverty, violence and suffering. We want to see these cycles challenged, yet, in a way that is focused on affirming all that is good in lowland Khmer village life, in a way that pursues abundant life. We would like to prioritise trying to do this as a family and as neighbours (albeit strange ones!) first, and then as professionals second.

This is why we have provisionally called this venture “Friends of Village Life”, whether we live in a neighbourhood on the edge of a provincial town or in a village. In reality, it might take a few years to get to the village or it may just prove a step to far but that is the way we are headed as we start out.

The sub-title on our family web-log (see below) reads “just peace and joy”. This acknowledges that we are motivated by our experience of God’s compassion, and the influence of Jesus’ life and teachings on our faith. We are inspired by Jesus’ mission to be good news to the poor and to seek justice, harmony and joy; and we recognise we need to change our attitudes and ways (not other peoples) in order to do that.

Going interdependently
We are not going to Cambodia with any job or organisation but we are not going on our own or independently. We are confident to set out on this journey without a job or an organisation, even with such a young family (our second child will only be a few months old), because of our experience of the support and encouragement over the years of friends and family all around the world. We would like to encourage you to join or continue supporting and encouraging us in our move to Cambodia as we cannot do it alone.

We would like to invite you:

To write to, email and phone us
To come and visit us
To pray for us (if you are that way inclined)
To invest financially in this foundational first year

To be friends of village life too.......

Photos of Battambang

2005-08-19T23:12:00.000+01:00

For more photos of Battambang click on the "just peace and joy" link below the photo of the Statue of the Founder of Battambang.

The story of the founder goes something like this. There was a Buddhist prophecy about a disabled boy who would challenge an evil King and overthrow him to become a good King. That boy is apparently the founder of Battambang and the statue shown below is meant to be of him but obviously in a very stylised manner!?!

Statue of the Town Founder

2005-08-19T22:51:00.000+01:00

Statue of the Town Founder
Originally uploaded by just peace and joy.

About Pioneering

2005-08-04T21:13:00.000+01:00

Let us go and find a way through
Let us go and find the pathway
Surely you have gone before us
Surely you know the way

We will go and build your kingdom: Justice, peace and joy
But what form will it take?
How will it look amongst this people
Let us listen to the people
Let us hear their heartbeat
Let us weave the basket with them
Fires will light up across the land

How the land longs for your presence
Earth stained red from violence
People’s lives are lived in tatters
Come cleanse, Come build,
Come mend Oh Lord

As an ox ploughs the ground
They plough in twos Oh Lord
A man and his wife will plough the ground together

Where to find our family a place of welcome and peace?
Where to listen? From whom to learn?
Where to fall like a seed to the ground?
Where to be up to our elbows in dirt?
Where, O God, to plough the ground?
And how, O Lord, to walk and work to the unforced rhythms of your grace?

And so you have lead us, by gentle push and by nudge:
To Cambodia we go, at last
To the village, although in Battambang Town we will start,
To reweave the basket of Khmer village life, some of it new and some of it old.”

By Tim and Catherine Lawrence
(Second version - August 2005)

Catherine's Vision

2005-08-04T21:11:00.000+01:00

I saw myself up to my arms in mud
Red mud
Squatting
Hot sun on my back
Talking together
Weaving, re-weaving something beautiful

“What will you do with the rest of your life?”
The question resonates, echoes, ripples through my being
“I want to invest in what is eternal” comes the answer:
“that is people and God’s desires”

I want to be up to my arms in mud,
That is committed, involved, in the grubbiness of real life.
Squatting
That is enculturated, incarnated
Hot sun on my back: I know it’s going to be hot sweaty work
But it’s relational; we are talking together as we weave and reweave the basket of Cambodian village life

For Tim's "Cambodia Calling" see: http://tomyumtim.blogspot.com
It is probably in the June 2005 archive.

Welcome

2005-07-29T22:55:00.000+01:00

Welcome to the Lawrence family blog.

We have set this blog up in preparation for our move, early next year, to live in Cambodia.
For updates on Tim's recent trip to Cambodia see: http://tomyumtim.blogspot.com/

We would like this to be a place where friends and family can come to find out about what is going on in our life.

It is sort of half way between a newsletter and a website. Hopefully it will be more personal than a website and more frequent and colourful than a newsletter. Now doubt we will do a newsletter too.