Bon Pchum Ben
Recently we had Bon Pchum Ben - Festival for the Dead, when ancestor are remembered and paid reverence and appeased? It is a big deal here, on a parallel to Christmas without the shopping, just making millions of rice, moong bean and pork cakes in banana leaves (I prefer Chrsitmas cake).
Whilst there is a holiday and festival atmosphere it seems a bit morbid and fearful to us but maybe some feel that way about Easter and the crucifixion. We don't really understand it much to be honest. We went to the Catholic church to see what was going on there as well as our local Buddhist Wat (Pagoda).
The service at the Catholic church, as far as I could make out, was about the cloud of witnesses and God's Spirit being the comforter of those who mourn. At the Wat it seemed to be more about making merit and offerings so that your ancestors are happy for another year (not very Buddhist to my ear; more like Chinese ancestor worship) but as I said we don't really understand it all.
It is a difficult time of year for some (maybe many) as it is a family time, like Christmas, and for those without or with some missing (most here) it can be very painful. This was brought home to us when one of neighbours burst into tears when Tim was visiting them, Tim only asked if they wanted to play a game with us. This was too much for the mother who lost her husband four years ago and has three daughters and relies on hosting card games (gambling) for a livelihood. Gutting.... What can you do?
Not a lot when you can't speak the language or know what one could do to help if you understood life here.
We know that this mother and widow is not unusual. Indeed, from our langauge route in the neighbourhood we know there are many Husbands and Fathers who are not around: absent working, left completely (probably for another woman), or dead. We think some who are apparently dead are really 'as good as dead' or 'as bad' as the case maybe.
Family ties seem stronger by bloodlines (the women seem to stick together) than by marriage. Where are the good Fathers and Husbands?
Whilst there is a holiday and festival atmosphere it seems a bit morbid and fearful to us but maybe some feel that way about Easter and the crucifixion. We don't really understand it much to be honest. We went to the Catholic church to see what was going on there as well as our local Buddhist Wat (Pagoda).
The service at the Catholic church, as far as I could make out, was about the cloud of witnesses and God's Spirit being the comforter of those who mourn. At the Wat it seemed to be more about making merit and offerings so that your ancestors are happy for another year (not very Buddhist to my ear; more like Chinese ancestor worship) but as I said we don't really understand it all.
It is a difficult time of year for some (maybe many) as it is a family time, like Christmas, and for those without or with some missing (most here) it can be very painful. This was brought home to us when one of neighbours burst into tears when Tim was visiting them, Tim only asked if they wanted to play a game with us. This was too much for the mother who lost her husband four years ago and has three daughters and relies on hosting card games (gambling) for a livelihood. Gutting.... What can you do?
Not a lot when you can't speak the language or know what one could do to help if you understood life here.
We know that this mother and widow is not unusual. Indeed, from our langauge route in the neighbourhood we know there are many Husbands and Fathers who are not around: absent working, left completely (probably for another woman), or dead. We think some who are apparently dead are really 'as good as dead' or 'as bad' as the case maybe.
Family ties seem stronger by bloodlines (the women seem to stick together) than by marriage. Where are the good Fathers and Husbands?
posted by Catherine @ 3:22 am
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